


Sudoku and Other Upsetting Euphemisms

by YogurtTime



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: Angry Nakamaru, Euphemisms, Humour, M/M, Mention of sex toys, Mirror Sex, Nude Photos, Shower Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-27
Updated: 2012-06-27
Packaged: 2019-02-14 20:10:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13015236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YogurtTime/pseuds/YogurtTime
Summary: Koki had begun taking naked photos of himself in the bathtub and shower and had been posting them on his jweb. Meanwhile, Junno gets a visitor armed with purpose.





	Sudoku and Other Upsetting Euphemisms

 

 

Junno never got visitors.

Especially not ones at two a.m. So despite the fact that he had just been startled awake by a pointedly stern series of knocks on his front door, he couldn’t help the thrill of excitement he felt when he bounded from his blankets.

He didn’t bother to throw on a shirt because whoever was interesting enough to come calling at this hour certainly deserved to catch a look at his naked chest before he’d _remember_ to put one on.

The knocking on his door grew only louder as he padded over to the entrance way. It sounded both urgent and, if possible, angry.

“Taguchi, open this door immediately! I know you’re in there!”

Junno knew that voice and he hurried to oblige. Sure enough, Nakamaru stood in his doorway, glaring. He was just _seething_ , cheeks pink, hair tousled, tie loosened and mouth turned down with a special type of censure. There were few things that could cause Nakamaru to show up at his door looking like that and Junno could hazard a horrifying guess

Junno suddenly wished he’d brought his shirt with him.

“You,” Nakamaru said stiffly, jaw working.

Junno backed away. “Nakamaru-kun, if this is about the whip cream on your joystick-- for the record-- I thought it was _mine_.”

Nakamaru paused, taking a moment to look puzzled. “That’s... not why I’m here, Taguchi. May I come in?”

Junno stepped back to let him through. “Uhh, yes?”

Nakamaru didn’t waste anytime, kicking off his boots as he stepped in, only pausing to turn and neatly set them in line with the other shoes. “So have you seen them?” he demanded once he’d shrugged off his coat.

“Seen what?” Junno was wondering if it’d be polite to leave the room and find his shirt. He didn’t want Nakamaru getting any ideas.

Nakamaru gave him a pointed frown, turning away to rummage in his bag. “Ole!”

Junno edged toward his bedroom, eyeing Nakamaru with some unease. “Excuse me?”

“Koki’s jweb photos! For the past few days!” Nakamaru snapped, flipping open his phone and brandishing the screen at him.

There, in full colour, was what was unmistakably a hand lifted over the side of a bathtub, slick with soap suds. Junno would know that hand anywhere.

“Koki posted this?” Junno murmured, a little floored. He’d not checked it yet this week; sometimes he preferred to let the entries collect and to read them before going to bed on Fridays. Imagined sometimes that the words across the screen were filthier, sometimes he pictured harsh things and it was sometimes enough to get him there.

His own personal form of nightcap.

“There’s more,” Nakamaru replied, eyes going squinty as he ran his thumb down the scroll. “First it was just the one, but then _this_ happened!” He held up the screen again and this time, there was a thigh, a lovely _wet_ thigh with drops of water sliding down the knee right in the center of the screen.

Junno covered his mouth. “Oh.”

“Yes! Exactly! And wait, look at _this_!” Nakamaru scrolled further down, sidling over to stand beside Junno as he flipped his phone sideways. Sure enough, another photo, this time of yet another soapy hand this time absolutely slathered with bubbles. “Every. Single. Day!” Nakamaru continued and he punctuated each word with another click of his phone.

Junno was speechless. All this would’ve made for an interesting Friday, but it was only Wednesday...

“So why...”

Nakamaru clapped his phone shut. “Don’t you see? This isn’t what a jweb is for. It’s meant as the closest thing to a blog we’re able to have. Tell our readers what we’ve been _eating_ or what new interesting places we’ve eaten at. Take pictures, if you will, but of food and platters from flattering _angles_ , but not... this!”

Junno frowned. “OK?” he returned tentatively. He had _already_ received this lecture from Nakamaru when he started his jweb and yes, he was getting better at taking pictures of his meals...

Nakamaru took on a very pained look. “I know Koki very well and this is a definite symptom of loneliness. These photos are a cry for help.”

Junno’s brow furrowed. “That’s really sad.”

Nakamaru reached out, placing a firm albeit hesitant palm on Junno’s bare shoulder and squeezed with his first sympathetic look that night. “Yes, Taguchi, it is. That’s why I need you to go to him and … “ Nakamaru took a deep breath, setting his jaw. “...and...give him some.”

Junno waited for the sentence to continue. He looked down at Nakamaru, who was gazing back up at him with a carefully neutral gaze. “Give him some....?” Junno prompted.

Nakamaru shook his head, looking deeply uncomfortable. He dropped his arm from Junno and folded his hands behind his back as he began to pace the living room. “No, we needn’t get into details here but I am aware of your complicated relationship with Koki and that you’re currently going through that ‘will-they-won’t-they’ phase, but you’re taking entirely too long and obviously Koki’s been losing patience and _I’ve_ been losing sleep.”

Junno stepped back and dropped into his sofa, staring at Nakamaru, completely stunned. “Nakamaru-kun, I don’t really feel comfortable discussing this with you--”

Nakamaru looked stern. “Now, Taguchi, there isn’t the time for _sexual_ shame!” He pronounced ‘sexual’ like he’d never uttered the word before. “The pictures will get progressively worse the longer we wait and moreover, I simply cannot confront him about it nor order him to desist.”

“Well, why?”

“Because when I tell him _not_ to do something he only does it _more_! Don’t you see?” Nakamaru cried.

“Yeah,” Junno murmured. “Ok, but what does that even have to do with you?”

“Stop,” Nakamaru hisses, holding up a hand. “Being hilariously obtuse. We must act now.” Quite abruptly he flushed a deep rouge, clearing his throat. “Now, after doing some research, I’ve purchased some supplies for you.”

Ducking his head, he moved for his fully-packed rucksack. Junno shifted away, not sure if he knew the words for how awkward this was. Nakamaru unzipped the bag and swiftly emptied the contents on the cushions. There was a large amount of leather, some latex gloves, piles of rainbow-coloured condoms, a _baster_ , several dildos of different sizes and a suspiciously large bottle of lubricant. Junno’s eyes widened in horror as he skirted to the very opposite end of the couch, uttering a faint sound of distress.

He really should have put on a shirt.

Nakamaru regarded all of these with a martyred expression. “I don’t know what most of these things are even called, but I didn’t want to cut any corners and the book said they might be necessary.”

Junno opened his mouth but no words came. It wasn’t as though he didn’t want to. Because well, it was Koki and Junno himself wasn’t sure what they’d been doing. He’d dropped enough of his own hints. He was pretty sure he’d come out and told Koki in an out of the way context once.

There was just such a large plane for rejection and Junno worried that this would be as good as it was going to get. Even if he had to settle for a box of tissues, suggestive pictures and imagining Koki on his knees, doing things with that mouth that Nakamaru of all people didn’t need to know about.

Junno hugged a throw pillow and hoped Nakamaru’s nose didn’t give him telepathic powers.

“So~” Nakamaru sniffed. “Now that I have armed you with my blessing and the correct supplies, I expect you to go to Koki and make him...howl at the moon.”

“What...?” Junno mumbled, incredulous.

Nakamaru took a deeper breath and seemed to brace himself, making a vague gesture. “I meant to say just go and... and _lay_ it on him! You know! Stuff his muffin!”

“Stop saying those words together!” Junno wailed, covering his ears. He had begun to sob. He was sensitive around this time of night. “Why are you doing this? Is this because I may have accidentally placed an order for several cases of illegal amphetamine salts in your name that night when Koki and I stole your credit card... accidentally?”

“No no-- wait what?”

“ _Nothing_ ,” Junno cried, slipping off the couch and beginning to crawl away. “We were drunk and you’d left your wallet lying around!”

Nakamaru stalked toward him, hands on his hips as Junno slid across his wood floor miserably. “Taguchi! Koki doesn’t take naked photos for nothing! Now you will go to him and you will do him like a sudoku puzzle!”

“Ugh!” Junno said, more in response to that last simile than the fact that he was now being ordered to go to town on his bandmate.

“I will even drive you there,” Nakamaru begged. “ _Please_ Taguchi. I can’t have anymore naked pictures of Koki on my phone and I’m also running out of upsetting euphemisms!”

\--

A show of reluctance and nerves as well as a long, silent and awkward drive later, Junno watched fretfully as Nakamaru slipped a key into Koki’s door. “You have a key to his place?”

Nakamaru nodded solemnly as the lock’s tumbler clicked. “It will be yours now,” he whispered, pulling the key out, taking Junno’s hand and placing it in his palm. “I’m passing it down to you and you better get it done. Just go in there and--”

Junno clapped his other hand over Nakamaru’s mouth and shook his head, frowning darkly. “I’ve very much _grasped_ the concept.”

They stood in silence, gazing at one another for a loaded second before Nakamaru offered Junno a heavy nod, knocking his hand away. “This is where I leave you then.”

Junno did a double-take. “What? You’re not going to stay?”

Nakamaru gave him a caviling once-over. “That’s disgusting. Anyway, I have to go to Kame’s. He’s been having a rough patch with his vase.”

“...what?”

“Now, I’m counting on you,” Nakamaru snapped, ignoring him. “In you go.”

He opened the door swiftly and shoved Junno in, quickly turning on his heel to depart. Junno stumbled in, nearly tripping over a pile of sneakers. He looked around at the very dimly lit entrance way, noting that it looked eerily still. What if Koki wasn’t even home? Would Nakamaru come for him tomorrow night as well? Spill more sex toys on his sofa? Bring a thesaurus of more horrifying euphemisms?

Junno swallowed, kicking off his boots and shutting the door behind him. “Koki?” he called after a still moment.

No answer.

Junno wandered into the living room. Well, it was two in the morning and he was probably sleeping; something Junno should be doing and not setting himself up for humiliation. Still, it was either this or expect more awkward visits.

In his silence, he heard the sound of water running and Junno looked over to the hallway. The bathroom door was cracked, spilling a strip of light into the dark. Junno braced himself, determined to keep his cool. There wasn’t really any going back at this point and for all he knew Nakamaru might be waiting in the hallway and at this hour that just sounded scarier than any alternatives.

As he approached, he could hear the shower going and the flood of steam rising out the partially open door. Junno placed his palm on the doorway, slowly pushing as he looked in cautiously. Brightly-lit but clouded with steam and Junno could see him. Well, his outline. The shower curtain was closed and aside from the sound of the water flow, Junno could hear Koki making odd frustrated sounds as his outline appeared to be attempting to maneuver weirdly. There was a moment before Junno heard the click and flash of a camera followed by Koki swearing softly.

Vaguely alarmed, Junno stepped in and drew back the curtain.

Junno had seen a lot of things in his fifteen years as an idol, but this would even top the time he’d walked in on Yokoyama struggling into pantyhose long _after_ they’d filmed the crossdressing scenes for their drama so long ago.

Koki looked around, wide eyed. He was very much naked, all hot water steam flesh and gleaming lines of muscle and softness. He was also balanced precariously on a narrow stool planted in the middle of his shower, one hand pressed to the wall, teetering as he pointed his cameraphone at the wall.

Yes, this definitely topped that.

“Taguchi?! What are you-- how did you get in my house?!”

Junno thought it’d be polite to look away but well, he couldn’t because Koki was probably an inch from falling. Nakedly. “I was sleeping and-- well, your naked pictures! No, wait,” Junno tried helplessly to gather his thoughts. “Sex toys on my sofa and...”

Koki stared at him. “You saw the photos?” he asked quietly.

Junno folded his arms quickly, shrugging. He was immediately reminded of Nakamaru brandishing his phone fiercely. “I didn’t really have a choice-- a-are you all right?”

Koki looked down at the stool, clearly in danger of slipping as the water flooded toward the drain. “I’m...avoiding the mirrors,” he replied simply.

“I see,” Junno said slowly, eyeing all four walls of mirrors, making a decided and polite effort not to view the interesting angles these allowed. He wanted to ask if this was an exhibitionist thing. Junno could get behind that. The intriguing concept of someone having wall to wall mirrors in their shower aside, at this point, they only really reflected Koki’s knees and the backs of his thighs as he barely managed this weird circus act.

“So...the pictures. What do you think?”

Junno was probably breathing in a lot of steam and his thoughts were all over the place and it was how Koki could suddenly ask a question like that while looking so angry. Junno wondered what the water trailing in long droplets down Koki’s hips tasted like. He paused, not really able to create the most distinctive words to cover all of what he was looking at. All he could think of was the fact that Koki looked very pink under hot steam and that the very unabashed fervour in his stare was vaguely reminiscent of every fantasy he’d quietly nursed.

Junno looked back at him. “I think about doing you like a Sudoku puzzle and I’m really just hoping you don’t say no,” he said quickly in one breath, wincing as he heard himself.

Koki was quiet. He was still leaned on one arm against his shower wall, stool beneath him shaking dangerously. Koki’s eyebrows turned downward, glaring fiercely under the wet tendrils of his hair. “What the hell took you so long?” he demanded. “I’m already on my fifth picture here!”

Junno froze. It was suddenly very simple with Koki that close and looking absolutely coated in steamy moisture, skin like pale mahogany. Junno smiled against his better judgement. He’d later think they collided like that, Junno reaching out and Koki dropping a hand from the shower wall to drape his arms over Junno’s shoulders. He was all hot, wet and pliant with fingers closing on the back of Junno’s neck and his lips parting just to hover over his, moaning breathlessly at the instant and surprising contact.

“I will add that that was a disturbing way to say that,” Koki remarked, on the very edge of a groan.

“I can think of worse,” Junno murmured, marveling a little at the water droplets quivering on Koki’s chest and throat.

Junno opened his mouth over Koki’s, not at all minding that he was getting soaked as his hands scooped up against the back of Koki’s lithe thighs. He got a handful of him as Koki’s knees slid up his hips and Koki made a faint desperate noise when Junno’s tongue lapped up over his.

Koki had to grab for the shower curtain railing with one hand, letting Junno take his phone and set it on the counter as he pushed Junno’s coat off his shoulders. Koki gasped each time Junno’s fingers grazed somewhere new, the both of them getting caught in a bit of a struggle with Junno’s shirt. Junno bit at Koki’s lip when hot wet fingertips dug into his back, humming greedily when Koki’s tongue scraped over his teeth, that voluptuous mouth just as Junno wanted it.

Small fingers tore at his jeans while he began to mouth down Koki’s throat. He felt the rumble of Koki’s growls under his tongue as he ran the base of his palms against the cheeks of Koki’s ass, gripping tightly.

“Get in with me,” Koki begged in a tone Junno had never heard before. It practically enflamed him as the rush of Koki’s wet fingers all over his body pushed him to euphoria.

“Yes,” was all he could manage.

Junno let Koki push his jeans the rest of the way down, shaking the sleeves of his shirt off, while Koki stepped back into the shower and Junno stepped in after him, hissing at the heat of it. He was drenched, blistering water running down him, plastering his hair to his head. He looked at Koki under the rain of it, blurrily saw the long run of his body reflected from every contour in the fogged up mirrors as he shoved the stool aside.

Koki’s back hit the mirror and he winced, breathing through his nose when Junno kissed him again. Junno savoured the wet slide of them together and Koki had begun to edge his hips up along his, the sharp angles of his hip bone and his hard cock, dredging a thrilling and perfect slide up Junno.

The heat of the water and the clouds rising around them blurred the edges of Junno’s vision when they stared to rock together. Junno tried to be gentle but Koki mewled so wonderfully each time Junno crushed him back against the glass. The both of them were fully wet and Koki tasted fresh and warm under his tongue, not pausing for air. Junno ground his hips desperately, loving the fricative slide of Koki’s skin, breaking off on a gasp when Koki threw his head back and Junno ached for more.

“Fuck me,” Koki swore right into his panting mouth.

“ _Yes_.”

The mirrors were foggy but when Junno grasped Koki’s arms and spun him, he was immediately startled at the scintillating sight of Koki’s whole body; nipples taut, stomach flexing when he moved, fully erect, his mouth all kissed out and wet curls shading his desperate gaze. Junno slipped right up against him, letting the top of his cock rut along Koki’s crease, and he hungrily dug his teeth lightly on the tense muscles of Koki’s shoulder. He watched Koki’s lips part and eyes spark at the abrupt pain.

He pulled Koki’s hips back and leaned over him to reach his coat flung over the odd pastel pink radiator, withdrawing the bottle of lubricant.

Junno got a strange and special pleasure from watching Koki’s eyes, the draw of his body and every single little change that happened as his fingers dipped in. Koki’s hands flattened fully against the glass and Junno saw his jaw clench once his fingers thrusted deep and it was beautiful.

Koki’s hips rolled backward and his thighs spread at the same time Junno scissored. “I’d take a photo of this.” Junno whispered, lips pressed to Koki’s earlobe, secret under the shimmer rush of the waterflow. He watched Koki’s expression flicker with both surprise and want. “You look perfect. I want them to see you like this.”

Koki’s moan echoed with the swell of his chest, hot water splashed off his shoulder, and his whole body tensed tighter in his reflection with each time Junno pushed fingers in.

Junno pulled his fingers out slowly and Koki bit his lower lip, looking up at him under his eyelashes and Junno knew that was for him, that Koki was loving the visual as well. He gripped Koki’s hips tightly as he eased himself in, hissing against the side of Koki’s neck, never taking his eyes off them.

“You want them to see you like this too, don’t you?” Junno asked, thrusting in slow, rocking into tight, perfect wet heat, watching in awe as Koki’s fingers against the mirror curled. “You’d love it if I took a photo and they’d see you with me inside you.”

Koki gasped, bowing his head as he nodded faintly, pushing his hips back, taking Junno in to the hilt in a hot swallow of moisture silk. Junno clenched his teeth, mouthing and panting under Koki’s ear. He reached around and cupped Koki’s chin with his thumb and forefinger, tipping his head back up.

“Watch with me,” he ordered and Koki’s irises pooled dark as Junno began to thrust quicker and harder. Koki mewled again, desperate and pleading, cock twitching. Junno spread his legs to go deeper, shuddering as Koki clenched. He watched Koki’s wet, pink lips form words as his fingers curled to fists and Junno fucked him harder. “I want you to see what they’d see if I… got you just… like this.”

“God, Junno,” Koki sobbed, looking at him worshipfully, rocking with him, mouth going slack..

“You want me to? Make them wish they could have you like this.” His own gasps against Koki’s ear started to breathe off as he went faster, and Koki started to get hotter inside, slick and tighter.

“I’m gonna--” Koki hissed, dropping a hand to his own cock, fisting tight; he kept his gaze fixed on them both, moaning tremulously when Junno closed his lips on his ear, almost but not quite biting.

Junno rocked right into Koki’s rhythm, hot water also like a caress, beating down on them. The bathroom filled with the sound of Koki’s soft grunts and the crush of skin. Junno loved the reflection of Koki’s legs going to jelly under him, little pleadings spilling out as he fisted himself faster. Junno didn’t let him look away, kept his hand cupped under Koki’s chin even as he doubled-up, bouncing forward with the thrust of Junno’s hips.

Junno came like that, feeling it jump up on him when Koki’s eyes shut and he let out an uncontrollable groan, the head of his cock, slipping through his fingers under the beat of water, ejaculate splattering against the tile.  
Junno could hardly catch his breath, nuzzling against Koki’s nape, kissing lethargically as Koki panted up against the glass, a small exhausted, but pleased curve on the corner of his lips.

“I’m totally doing another entry tonight,” Koki said happily, eyes shut.

\--

At work, Junno hesitantly approached Nakamaru reading quietly, spectacles at the end of his nose.

“Hey, Nakamaru-kun?” he said quietly.

Nakamaru looked up from his book warily.

Junno glanced around and managed to catch Koki carefully _not_ staring at him with that aggressively pink-cheeked half-smile. Junno grinned and gazed down happily at Nakamaru. “I just wanted to thank you for the other night.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Nakamaru snapped, turning back to his book.

“But--”

“I’m _reading_ ,” he said sharply and Junno backed away a little.

Gaining no further word or acknowledgement, Junno shrugged and made to walk away.

“Taguchi,” Nakamaru said suddenly.

Junno twisted around eagerly. “Yeah?”.

“Expect your invoice in the mail,” Nakamaru said sternly, eyes still set on his open book.

 


End file.
